I haz smart.

There's nothing more condescending than have someone look at you, like he had a grand realization about all the unfounded assumptions he's made about your intelligence, and say "Oh, so you're....smart."

(...that's a true story.)

At a previous firm, where title was everything and entitlement ran rampant, it was widely assumed that I was just your average, unmotivated, married 20-something who needed an income. Obviously, the opportunity to mention that I never exactly aspired to be a "Senior Administrative Assistant" didn't come up often. Nor was it appropriate, given I personally have no problem with anyone who does aspire to that rank. But really - I didn't go to college to do expense reports, ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

My career path has been a twisty, nebulous string of growing responsibility and little clear direction. A lot of shades of gray and an equal amount of praise for being flexible. Versatile. Smart. While personally frustrating, I know that my bosses value me and respect me so I am luckier than most professionals in that regard.

Unfortunately, while it is clear that I am "more than an admin", I am still not entirely sure what kind of job is right for me. I mean, I know I'm smart. Right now, my title is "Analyst" though, truth be told, my analytical skills leave something to be desired. My peers have degrees in all things number-y and a far cry from journalism.

My skills and strengths don't fit my role, at least, not at this point in time. In this industry, project management and roles that are heavy in communication and presentation are the benefits of working your ass off for the better part of your post-graduate years. Those roles are not for the admin-turned-analyst-now-working-mom-who-hasn't-put-in-her time-like-we-all-did, no matter if those skills are her strong suit and ultimately, the type of work she should be doing. And you know, she's smart too.

I truly didn't ever think that I would be eight years out of college and still not have a clear vision about a career. Except...well...I feel like I should be able to figure this out.

You know.

Cause I'm smart.